Our fence got finished today, yea! It was really well built, but I hate that the yard doesn't feel as open anymore. But, now we won't have hogs ripping up our yard anymore. We are in the process of negotiating all of the details for a sports court, so hopefully that will get started at the beginning of August.

Cameron is loving FSY and has been calling to tell us about his new friends.  :) 

Errolyn doesn't enjoy her nanny job, but she's a hard worker and wants the money for college. She does Door Dash in the evening most nights too.

Logan had a blast at FSY! He said AFY was better and he had his biggest spiritual experience there, but FSY was more spiritual all week long. 

Emma has a late night at a friend's house tonight that she's excited about.

Allie sometimes feels left out that her older siblings all have friends to play with, but she does enjoy story time at her school each week.

Mike is loving his new job! And I love that he's home; I love talking to him when he has breaks. And he helps out a ton with dishes, yardwork, and general cleaning. Not many husbands are like that... I'm lucky I married a hard worker!

A little late on this news, but Cameron has been called to be a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Brasil Rio de Janeiro South Mission. I'm so excited for him! When he opened his call it was a flood of anticipation and the Spirit. He knew he would be called where the Lord wanted him to be. We had a map up on the wall and everyone was guessing where they thought Cameron would go. Cameron put on a sticky note above the map, "Where the Lord Wants Me" or something along those lines. We've raised a good kid!

We've prepared Cameron his whole life for him to go on a mission, and now that he's going to leave soon, it's a little bitter sweet. I'm going to miss him terribly. And I'm kind of concerned about the crime in Rio. People keep telling me to have faith, but guess what? Sometimes good missionaries with faith still die on their missions. :/ But, I have to have faith that he is doing the Lord's will. Cameron is constantly trying to live the Gospel and I have no doubt he will be an excellent missionary. Like his Dad, once he learns something he doesn't forget it, so he knows a LOT about the church and its teachings. I'm so grateful he will have this opportunity.

Cameron was also accepted into BYU. After years and years of striving for this goal, I was really nervous for him. But, he made it! Yea! I'm so excited he'll have a chance to go to school with lots of people who share his beliefs. I love raising my kids out of Utah because it helps them become leaders and its easier to see the black and white of what is wrong. But, after an entire life of having to stick up for his beliefs and be the different one, I think it will be good to finally be around a lot of people who believe the same things and are their to support and lift him up in his beliefs. I'm excited!

Errolyn is doing so well in basketball that they've moved her from the Freshman team to the JV team for off-season. Yea! And she's also on a small club team and plays YW basketball so she's getting more experience at dribbling.

Errolyn and Cameron both received 1's on their solos for Solo & Ensemble. Cameron is debating if he should compete in State or work to save more money for his mission. He's $1600 short... but he's working any chance he can, so I think he'll be able to save it all before he leaves. Cameron isn't doing tennis this year, but instead has been participating in Quiz Bowl, Science UIL, Math UIL, and the Ultimate Frisbee Club. He's been having a blast his Senior year and has made some good friends that he plays games with at lunch.

Logan is doing well in his French Horn lessons. He enjoys playing sports, but realizes they will conflict with band a lot, so he's not really choosing "a" sport. Emma is good at soccer, but we see some natural abilities in basketball with her, so we're trying her out on that now. Allie is just happy and loves doing her chart and chores at home to be like the other kids.

I just returned from a trip to Utah to see Abigail's baptism. I really loved being able to see so many from my family! I loved hanging out with everyone and catching up. I had some travel mishaps with delayed flights and a rental car that was left in transportation mode, but other than that, I had a great time seeing everyone.

Mike is doing well. He was on TV yesterday being interviewed on the news, which was fun to see. I wish I wrote more. There's still a lot I need to improve on with my family, but there are some things I feel I'm doing really well in. We've decided to scratch our FHE lesson list for the next 3 months and instead we're focusing on social skills, conflict resolution, being teachable, etc. but from a gospel perspective. I've found some good routines with going to the gym in the morning, cleaning, and making my daily "to do" lists, and I feel like I'm getting a lot accomplished. We used to eat dinner as a family every single night, but the last few years (since having Allie), we haven't been great about it. I've made a renewed effort to make that a priority for the day by preparing dinner in the morning, since I'm always too busy in the evening to cook. And it's made all of the difference. I love talking with everyone around the table... it makes my momma heart proud.

I'm sure there's a ton more... but, that's it for now. Life is good!

I've been reflecting on much lately. First, my oldest son, Cameron has submitted his mission paperwork to the Bishop for his final interview, and then it will go on to the Stake. To see the wonderful young man that Cameron has become makes me proud and feel the spirit on so many levels. As a parent, you try to do the right things, to raise your children to be strong, responsible, capable, righteous human beings. But, ultimately, we all fall short. I am not a perfect mom and always worry that my weaknesses will negatively affect my children. But, my constant prayer is that Heavenly Father will make up the difference. And I look at Cameron, and I know that Heavenly Father has truly made up the difference. Cameron has such a strong, unwavering testimony of the gospel and he will be a great instrument in the Lord's hands as he serves his mission. Yes, at times I'm sad that he'll leave me... I love him so much! But, this is what we've raised him to do. And to see him start to fulfill his spiritual goals, is an irreplaceable feeling as a mother.

I've also thought a lot about Mike being Bishop over the last 2 1/2 years. When Mike was first called, many people offered their condolences, jokingly of course. And while his calling has been busy for our family, it is an experience I would not soon trade. The time Mike spends being Bishop, has actually made our family closer as we cherish the times more that we have together. I feel its good for the kids to see us serving and giving our all to building up the Lord's kingdom and in return, again, I have felt that the Lord has made up the difference in our family. I have felt like this with many callings Mike has held over the years. When he was first called to be Elder's Quorum President, many years ago, he was set apart with special blessings given for our family and I truly felt lifted up during that period of time. I feel that now. I am grateful for this opportunity that has stretched our family and helped us to grow. And I'm grateful for the man my husband is and who he is becoming. I know few husband's who work all day, spend time on their calling, and then come home and start doing dishes, or start cleaning the house, and then help kids with homework. He is a man of tireless service and spiritual insights and I'm grateful for him.

I've also been reflecting on some goals I personally set and that we set as a family, about 2 years ago. With few exceptions, we attend the temple every month. As a family, we've all started doing more family history work and Cameron, Errolyn, Mike & I, have all taken names to the temple this last year. We're reading the Book of Mormon more consistently as a family and discussing it more frequently. Our dinner time has turned into one of reflection, where we return and report what we're thankful for each day, how we've served someone that day, and how we in turn recognize and are thankful for a service we received that day. Our Ward is paired with the Spanish Branch, but a year ago it was a Spanish Group within our ward, and Mike and I both studied Spanish each evening so we could better communicate with the members. We haven't missed a Family Home Evening in over 11 years, but we've been trying to bring the Spirit in more and make sure the lessons and discussions are better and more thought out. We've been praying morning and evening as a family and encouraging our kids to really talk with the Lord as they pray. We've been eating healthier as a family and all joined a gym this last year to exercise more frequently. I've been reading my personal scriptures more consistently and have received many insights and promptings from reading them. As a family we made a goal to be kinder and softer spoken, and I've seen the difference its made. I remember when we set most of these goals, they all seemed so daunting. Some of these things we already did, but we wanted to do them better or more consistently. And its so nice after a couple of years to look back and see that we're doing it! To see the progress we've made as a family! We're not perfect by far, and still have a long road of progression, but I am grateful for the help Heavenly Father has given us through our journey so far.

Mike and I went to the temple a few days ago, and these things and many others have been flowing through my mind and I just feel grateful; so very grateful for the blessings the Lord has seen fit to bestow upon my family. I wish that every family could come to know of the Spirit that we feel. (Which uncoincidentally are some of the goals we're working on as a family for this coming year.)

The other kids are doing well. Errolyn reads her patriarchal blessing each Sunday and as I watch her blossom, I am more and more feeling the Spirit through her. She is a beautiful young women inside and out and I'm grateful she is choosing the good path. Logan is starting to come into his own. He's definitely knowledgeable about the scriptures and if he can use the endless energy he has for good as he grows older, he will be an unstoppable force for good. It's so fun to see him make good choices and desire to serve others and to receive the Priesthood later this year. Emma is still as sweet spirited as ever and will be baptized next month. She has 2 articles of faith left to memorize before she's baptized and she already has developed a strong testimony of being Christ-like and helping others. And Allie, is our little sweet heart. She's kind-hearted, helpful, and rarely anything but happy. I'm so grateful for my family!

I'm not a cryer. In fact, I used to schedule time on my calendar every two to three weeks to cry, because it helps me to relieve stress. But, I just don't feel the need to cry very often. I'll tear up when bearing my testimony or feeling the Spirit, or when there is a really touching part in a movie, but every day actions, good and bad, just don't make me cry.

But, after coming home yesterday from Emma's parent teacher conference, I bawled. Not because Emma is being bad in school; in fact it's quite the contrary.

I have spent the last three days at countless school things for Logan and Emma. I always go to their events, I eat lunch with them on occasion, but I spend a lot more time helping out my older two children. I'm there for my middle two, but I've always had the philosophy that I'll "really" focus on them once Cameron leaves the house and then Errolyn. But, when Cameron and Errolyn were in Elementary School, the same ages as Logan and Emma now, I volunteered a lot more to help out at school events, I tried more to talk to them because they were my first children, and I knew everything that was going on in their lives.

Well, over the last three days, I have gone on a GT field trip with Logan, I've been to two of his choir concerts where he sang so brilliantly and I was one proud mom, I've taken Emma with me on errands, I've gone to Emma's Field Day and still have Logan's to attend later today, and then went to two parent teacher conferences. On the field trip, I think I talked with Logan more than I have all month. I talk to him in snippets at home, but rarely a 3 or 4 hour long conversation. It was wonderful. At his parent teacher conference, which was student led, he talked to me for a full 20 minutes about everything he's been doing all year. Most of it was stuff I had no idea about and it was wonderful. I was so proud of him. But, I felt like I didn't even know my own child.

Then, yesterday, I went to Emma's student led conference and she talked for 20 minutes about everything she had accomplished, her likes, her goals, what she wanted to still achieve... and I realized that I was so very proud of her but that I barely knew her. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've been so focused on making sure my older two, who are leaving soon, are ready for the world and ready for life. And I've been focused on being there for my 2 year old, Allie, who really needs me, and so my middle two have gone by the wayside.

At those student led conferences, I realized how wonderful Logan and Emma are. They are smart, responsible, creative children who are full of promise and spirit. And I feel like I've missed part of their growing up. My eyes were opened to how wonderful they are... and how much I really want to get to know them. I love Logan and Emma! I will make a bigger effort to talk to them and really get to know them... because I want to... because I love them... because they deserve to have a mother who is part of their life NOW, not just when I have time because the older kids are gone.

I have already made an effort to talk to them more and I can't believe how much they are really willing to open up to me when I put aside my busy life and just focus on them. I feel like we're finally having real conversations instead of snippets here and there.  I know this all probably sounds silly to some and I've tried to always be aware of my middle children so they don't get lost in the mix. I've enrolled them in sports, music, clubs, etc. and I attend everything I can. But, putting them in activities isn't enough. I want to know these wonderful little people that are part of my family. I want to be a part of their lives... because they're worth it... and because I love them!  I will do better! I love all of my children and want to know all of them and be a "real" part of all of their lives!

I bought Mike a trail camera for his birthday... this is our latest find out at our land...

Too many good things have happened... we had a fabulous trip to Missouri to see extended family, and to Nauvoo and other church history sites.  It was great!  Mike turned 40 and we had a fun and big birthday party for him.  We went to Rockport (the beach) this week and had a blast (Cameron got off work early for rain, so we decided to go last minute since he hardly had any vacation days this summer).  Cameron got us free tickets to Sea World and that was way fun.  Last night we hung out with the Updike's again and went to dinner, mini-golf, and then played some Dominion & Seaside.  So fun!  Cameron is a deep-water lifeguard at Sea World and making a lot of money and doing well.  Errolyn is going to a new school for 8th grade and she and I are both impressed with the new school and the students and teachers.  Allie is talking up a storm and smart as a whip.  Emma and Logan are just having fun and working hard.  Mike is an Executive Director at his company now and doing well. I'm the volunteer coordinator and document creator for Cameron's school orchestra.  And I'm in full swing working on this year's Messiah. We've had a great summer!  

I feel like life has been so crazy busy and stressful that I've lost myself a little.  There are so many things I would love to do each day, but I just don't have the time.  My "to do" list is so long that if I do the daily reoccurring things, I don't have time for my "to do" list and vice versa.  So, in the process, I feel like I'm not getting anything done and I'm failing.  But, I've learned not to get too down on myself because that leads into a downward spiral of guilt. I've learned to be happy with where I'm at and with what I'm getting accomplished even if in the back of my mind I feel otherwise.  I still try to do more and be a better person, mom, and wife, but it sometimes feels overwhelming at times and I wish I could do more.

So, I decided that I would devote one hour for the daily things I wanted to get done every day, leaving more time for me to start knocking things off of my lengthy "to do" list.  Yes, one hour is not long enough to do any of these things well or as long as I would like, but at least if I'm gone the rest of the day running errands I won't feel like I failed myself in some of these areas.  So, I picked six things that I wanted to get done every day and I set the timer for 10 minutes for each item.  Exercise: approximately 3 Zumba songs, Chore, Laundry, Organize: cabinets, drawers, closets, etc., Violin, and Piano.  I'll make more time to do exercise and especially cleaning on most days, but if I'm gone all day running errands, at the very minimum I've done these basics.

I love my 10 minute rotations!  Often times I come back to these things after the hour because I see more things I want to get done.  But, sometimes, I don't because I'm so crazy busy.  The exercise makes me happier and gets my blood flowing so I have the desire and energy to clean.  It's amazing how much you can clean in 10 minutes when you're moving fast and know you only have 10 minutes.  And the same thing goes for organizing.  My cabinets aren't terrible, but I can touch up several of them in just 10 minutes, or sort through a stack of papers, or clean under the couch.  I've always wanted to practice my violin more because I love playing and want to get better, but I just can't spend the time to practice for an hour each day.  It's been so nice to play each day, even if just for a little bit.  The last 10 minute rotation was going to be dinner prep.  But, because we currently have swim team in the evenings for 2 hours, we haven't been having formal dinners, but quick ones at different times.  We'll go back to better dinners in a couple of weeks when school is out and swim team moves to the mornings.  So, I had the impression to add in a piano rotation.  I used to love playing the piano, just to play and sing.  But, honestly, I haven't done it in ages!!  I play the piano to find pieces for my choir to sing, or for piano lessons, but it's been years since I played the piano just for pleasure.

I opened up a binder of music and began playing and singing "Look Inside Yourself."  After one verse, I was overcome with the Spirit and heard the thought, "This is who you are.  Remember who you are."  I broke down crying while I continued to play for the rest of the 10 minutes.  I am not a great pianist by any means, but I forgot how much I enjoy playing the piano and singing.  I forgot the calming peace I feel when I play.  I forgot how much I feel the Spirit when I'm singing good music.  I forgot how much playing for myself grounds me and fulfills my need for "me" time.  It was wonderful!  I will surely leave that 10 minute rotation in so I can fill my need for peace and "me" time.

Anyway, that experience probably will seem silly to most, but it was profound to me.  We are also trying to simplify our lives in activities and home organization and it's so freeing to get rid of junk or time wasting activities!

Well, Cameron turned 16!  He got his driver's license on his birthday.  He went on his first date this last weekend to Mormon Prom.  He paired up with three other couples which was fun.  The Prom dinner was at my house.  So, we hung up sheer curtains and lights in the archways to the front rooms to separate it from the house.  We put in a table leaf, got a nice table cloth and runner, I borrowed Heidi's china and one of the boys' gold silverware (or goldware), I ironed fancy napkins with name cards and small flowers tucked in the pockets, there were candles and flowers on the table, goblets for drinks, and I made a nice looking menu.  I know, I didn't simplify there.  :)  But, it was fun to put it all together and it's fun to use my creativity once in a while.  The other boys' parents were in charge of all of the cooking, and the food was great.  Errolyn and her two friends were the waitresses.  I daresay, that the table and food was way nicer than most restaurants. Heidi made two of the corsages and boutonnieres and they were beautiful.  Mike and I chaperoned the dance and then took people to their after prom activity.  Errolyn went to an anti-prom party for those not old enough to go to prom, and she had a lot of fun.

Logan auditioned for his school's talent show and was one of a few 3rd graders selected to participate.  He's singing "Wave Your Flag."  Errolyn competed against almost 100 teams from 12 different middle school's in a Gifted and Talented Mentathlon and her team took 1st.  Emma graduates from Kindergarten next week which is fun.  Allie is talking up a storm.  We taught her "Red Light, Green Light" yesterday and she loved it!  I wish I had videotaped her because she was so cute playing.  And I'm hosting a double 16th birthday party this weekend for Cameron and his friend Ben.

I'm sure a ton more has happened, but that's the short version.  :)

(The table looked way nicer in person...)

We normally do our Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday because we like to leave Sunday for the more spiritual parts of Easter, but we ran out of time yesterday.  The two funny parts of the Easter Egg Hunt were: Cameron's eggs being hidden really hard but yet Allie finding two of the eggs that Cameron couldn't find and Mike writing the egg papers this year, which will not happen again!  Haha!  I usually write the papers that go inside of the eggs, but asked Mike to do it this year.  His papers were: one back scratch from Mom, Mom will do your chore, etc.  :/  Haha... my way out is that Mike and I are one... so he has to do them too.  :)

I planned our Ward Camp-out this last weekend and it was awesome!  It was really difficult finding a camp-site for a ward this large!  I spent hours calling campgrounds for prices and driving around to different sites.  I finally found one, but the Bishop (Mike) didn't like it.  Then I found another two which fell through.  I started driving up and down the river asking campsites for discounts.  Finally, I prayed (again) but this time said that I had done everything I could do and now needed to turn it over to him completely or we would have to cancel the camp-out.  There was one more place I drove to that was expensive and completely booked up when I called the manager.  But, he called me back and said that one of his camp sites that had washed away in the flood 2 years previously could be cleaned up in time for us to use it.  And, he gave us a flat rate that was way cheaper than every other camp site I had looked at.  I was so grateful!  It was a beautiful site with grass, trees, right on the river, bathrooms, sinks, showers, etc.  We played volleyball, had s'mores, stayed up late hanging out with friends, the kids swam in the river, the Ward provided breakfast, and then the Primary had an Easter Egg hunt.

Last night, Errolyn and I went to the Conference broadcast and they really emphasized service and helping out the refugees and those in our community.  The talks were wonderful and I enjoyed cuddling with Errolyn since it was FREEZING in the chapel.  :)

I only have a few minutes left to write so... we went to Universal Studios and Disney World for Spring Break and it was awesome!  Harry Potter World was absolutely amazing!  And Emma loved meeting Anna, Elsa, and dancing with Belle.  Our condo we found on VRBO was super nice and cheap.  We also went to Utah for Christmas and had a wonderful time with family, sledding, and with the kids seeing real snow.  We also went on a month long road trip last Summer, with Mike joining us for the last two weeks.  My favorites were: Mount Rushmore, Garden of the Gods, Carlsbad Caverns, Yellowstone, Brian Head... but there were many cool places in between.

I do have to share one experience from Martin's Cove.  The kids and I were going on a 3 mile or so handcart trek.  Logan jumped on something and scraped his chest really badly so he had to ride in the handcart with Allie, then Emma said she was freezing and we realized she had a high fever, so she had to ride in the handcart.  I had to tell the kids we weren't trying to re-enact the actual Pioneer trek and to stop getting sick, ha.  Poor Cameron was doing the bulk of the pushing.  Anyway, I was talking to Cameron about how many of the men died on the pioneer treks because of how far they had to go, the freezing weather, and the lack of food.  He turned to me and said he would be fine; if he could hike Big Bend, then he could do a pioneer trek and be fine.  I told him it was harder than he thought and he said he wouldn't die but would have been fine.  I thought for a minute and turned to him and said, "No, you would have died.  Because I know your heart, and if Emma or Allie were starving for food, you would have given them yours.  And if they were freezing, you would have given them your shelter.  And you would have died... for them."  He thought about it for a minute, and a little teary eyed said, "You're right.  I would have died."  I love my son... he's such a caring person.

What else... Mike is Bishop now and that has been such a blessing for our family with the spiritual growth that comes from that.  The kids are all doing well in their sports and music.  Errolyn made the top all-region orchestra.  Allie is talking and walking now... she's so sweet all of the time and rarely cries.  There's been so much since I wrote last... but I need to rush off to our Stake's Musical Easter Fireside where Cameron and I are playing a cello and violin duet.  Tata!